Getting Started…

Overview | Agency | Warnings | Guiding Principles

Overview

Transform!

  1. Your Inner World

    How you talk to yourself, how you feel, how your mind works

  2. Your Inter-Personal World

    How you feel in your relationships, how you engage with others, how you deal with conflict, how you create experiences

  3. Your External World

    Where you live, how you live, what you do, what you’re responsible for

How?

  1. Healing

    Your past, your nervous system, your mind

  2. Learning & Applying New Skills

    Thoughts & Feelings foundational skills, boundaries in relationships, creating positive experiences

  3. Creating a New Lifestyle

    Habits, patterns, & the big stuff, like career, love, & home

AGENCY

You may not see it or understand it yet, but you have the ability to change your life - how you feel, how you think, how you respond, your relationships, how your past affects you, your sleep, your stress - all of it. Seriously, all of it. You may feel like helpless right now, that things just keep happening to you, but this will change. You will learn about agency and all the ways to apply it to every aspect of your life. This one skill you will need to develop along the way, and you will, and it will change everything.

Warnings

Smells Like School

You’re going to be developing new skills. And that requires work. Like pen to paper work. And that can be annoying. But it will transform your life. It’s a lot of learning, practicing, applying, making mistakes, trying again, learning more, practicing more, trying more. The good news – it will eventually become almost like breathing. Muscle memory I guess, like driving a car. And that is the moment you realize it was all worth it! But until then, ya, it’ll just be annoying sometimes, just like school was annoying sometimes.

Stubborn Resistance

This isn’t working. I don’t want to do this. Enough. Ugh. No. This is dumb. I don’t really need this, I’m fine (eye roll)

All of these thoughts are totally normal. One, how annoying that you’re in this place in the first place. Two, ignoring things works, at least to a certain extent. Three, there’s a part of you that may not want to do this because there’s something “off” about turning life into an exercise. But these exercises are just a moment in the larger span of your life. You WILL reach a point when you’re done and you’re just living. You’ll unfollow all the Instagram accounts you no longer need, you’ll toss out the books, delete the inspirational quote screenshots from your phone – all of it. But in the meantime, be ready for your stubbornness and work through it.

Gaslighting

We gaslight ourselves because it’s how we get through life. Seriously. Who wants to face all this crap? But, if you really want to see your life change, you’ll have to acknowledge the difficult things that you really don’t want to see. You don’t have to un-gaslight yourself right out of the gate. Just be aware of it and when you see a little window into yourself, walk toward it and look in. It doesn’t mean you have to fix it, but at least see it and acknowledge it – as a first step.

This Might Hurt

When you tackle hard things, it hurts. It hurts physically, mentally, and emotionally. There will be moments where everything hurts. Sometimes a lot. Like a lot, a lot, a lot. But it gets better! I promise! Find ways to comfort yourself in those moments, know that it will get easier, and don’t give up!

It’s Not a Straight Line

It’s not even a line. Is it a path? Is it a journey? I guess, maybe. I think we all like the idea that there are steps to take and that it’s leading somewhere. And that’s a fair expectation. Just don’t see “setbacks” or very necessary breaks, or uncovering something and thinking why didn’t I deal with this sooner, as failure or not making progress. You will need to be patient – with the process and with yourself. Find ways to be compassionate with yourself on your journey. That when it feels like you’ve taken a step back, instead recognize that it’s part of your journey to keep moving forward – toward that thing you maybe only see on the horizon.

Guiding Principles

No. 1: Do What Works For You

One person’s yoga is another person’s nightmare.

We’re not all the same, thank goodness. And it’s absolutely wonderful when people share with you what works for them or what they’re passionate about. However, that doesn’t mean that’s what you have to do. Similarly, if someone doesn’t like something or thinks something won’t work because it didn’t work for them, that’s also not necessarily true for you either. You’re you. If waking up every morning and greeting the sun and saying a positive intention for the day isn’t what you’re into, that’s a-okay! You have to write your own recipe because you have likes, interests, a style, a personality- and none of that needs to change in order to get where you want to go.

There’s more than one way to get somewhere.

There are many tools that serve the same purpose; choose the tool that works for you and you’ll still achieve the purpose. Give something a try, like an earnest try, and if it’s not working, choose something else. It’s kind of that simple.

Go at your own pace and meet yourself where you are.

You’re a living organism, not a robot; allow for a slower pace when you need it, breaks, evolution and different approaches during different seasons. And if right now, all you can do is a 5-minute walk when your goal is a 30-minute walk, do the 5-minute walk. Meet yourself where you are in this moment.

No. 2: The Technical + The Magic

Implement the technical and be ready for the magic.

The technical is only part of it - it isn’t the complete answer, the whole solution, the entire recipe. Let the magic be part of your journey through this. Opportunities that seem to appear out of nowhere. A book or movie that we stumble upon that transforms how we view something. Be it the Universe, God, or whatever “magic” you believe in… life will give you gifts. People who come into your life and meet a need or want or teach you something or make your life feel better. You need to be ready to receive these gifts – that’s where the technical comes in. The technical will get you out of bed, out of the house, to that coffee shop or restaurant or trip, well enough to engage with people and life. But the technical will not be your entire story. And magic will find you, I promise.

No. 3: It’s Not All or Nothing

Just because something doesn’t fix “it” 100%, doesn’t mean it doesn’t count. 75% counts. 20% counts! It may not be 100, but it’s not 0. So, if medication improves your situation 25%, that counts. If exercise improves your situation 30%, that counts. Remember there’s no one thing.